Other Games
The Perfect Partner
Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Achievement
A Better John
Achievement
Summer Job
Achievement
Till Death Do Us
Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Achievement
Clumsy
Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Achievement
Popcorn Buffet
Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Achievement
Appalling Appetite
Achievement
Swan Tamer
Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Achievement
Paperwork
Submit your monthly physical report.
Achievement
Master Unlocker
Collect enough milk to fill the tank.
Achievement
Fire Inspector
Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Achievement
Sleep No More
Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Achievement
Early Bird
Swallow every worm.
Achievement
Couch Party
Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Achievement
Go Left
Move to the left.
Achievement
Go Right
Move to the right.
Achievement
Magnetic Basshole
Win Lights Out in under five seconds.
Achievement
My Precious
Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Achievement
Safety First
Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.
Achievement
Meet Your Maker
Achievement
Spare Wheel
Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Achievement
Generous Lover
Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Achievement
Always Finishes First
Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Achievement
Self Defence
Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Achievement
Autopaedicatio
Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Achievement
Fussy Lover
Save yourself for that special orgy.
Achievement
Bulking Gear
Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Achievement
Most Improved Tapulator
Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Achievement
Wave 8 - The "Unbeatable?" Pterodactyl
Beat Wave 8, and survive the "Unbeatable" Pterodactyl
10 pts
Now Who's "Unbeatable"
Beat the first 5 Waves without dying
10 pts
Daily Buzzard
Reach a score of 50,000
10 pts
Joust Champion
Achieve a score of 100,000
25 pts
Efficient Jousting
Score 40,000 before the end of Wave 5
10 pts
Scrambled Man Eggs
Finish the Round 5 Egg Round without letting any enemies retrieve their buzzard mount
10 pts
Starting Buzzard
Finish wave 1 without letting any eggs hit the ground and without dying
5 pts
Speed Ostrich
Maintain max speed for an entire wave (starts after defeating the first enemy; fly the opposite direction after jousting an enemy to keep momentum)
10 pts
Wave 3 - Survival Wave
Beat Wave 3
5 pts
Wave 5 - Egg Wave
Beat Wave 5
5 pts